There are a lot of social patterns (including the pervasiveness of heteronormativity, even in 2019), myths, some facts and endless stereotypes out there that seem to indicate that a lot, if not most, sex work clients are men. Often, these men are of the heterosexual persuasion.
Sex work aside, be we talking about sex workers or clients, a person’s sexuality and sexual identity can be complex. And when you consider queer sex workers making a living on cam who are presumably interacting with a wider client population that is presumably made up of a lot of heterosexual guys… Well, maybe this can be complex, too?
We spoke with three cam models who are part of the LGBTQ+ community and asked a few questions related to this possible dynamic. These models — one of who requested her identity be kept confidential — told us about their experiences navigating queerness within sex work.
Nota bene: Keep in mind that these are insights and statements from individuals speaking to their experiences only. We are in no way attempting to summarize the intersectionality of sex work and queerness, nor were any of the models we spoke to trying to do that either.
Now that we have the disclaimer, let’s get started!
“Do you ‘come out’ to your clients?
We started by asking the models if they “come out” to their clients and how clients have responded.
Confidential Model said that, from her experience, “They do not seem to have an issue with my sexuality and seem intrigued or turned on. But then again, it is such a popular hetero man fantasy.”
Lacey Louix says she is public about her sexuality.
“I actually have my orientation in the bio of my profile and cam visibility settings,” Louix shared. “Clients tend to not only be accepting, but supportive. Many comment that they find it an attractive trait.”
Bae Westt told us they have faced issues in the past when it comes to showing clients their masculinity.
“I am a nonbinary, bisexual model,” Westt explained. “The only form of acute discriminatory exchanges I have had are when my masculinity would show itself. I am guessing because of the nature of most of my shows and the fact that I was unsure of myself while on the site, the members were also confused.”
This is not meant to say that non-binary models should not come out to clients, nor should it scare anyone from coming out. Coming out is absolutely terrifying in general, and there are a lot of ignorant people out there. But there are also a lot of good people out there, too. You just need to find your audience.
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“Are your cam clients mostly heterosexual men?”
We also asked models if their clientele tends to be comprised of heterosexual men.
“I have a mainly hetero male audience and a few bisexual men and a handful of females,” Confidential Model said. “I would love to increase my female and bisexual audience.”
Louix said that, although she has somewhat of a heteronormative clientele, she also “encounter[s] a fair number of women, trans [and] non-binary [folks] while working as well.”
“Does your sexuality have any impact on your interactions with heteronormative clients?”
We wanted to know how their sexuality factors in with heteronormative clients.
Confidential Model said she’s lucky to not feel the need to play a straight character with her clients, and Louix said her sexuality has “little-to-no impact in that space.”
Louix also gave a great bit of wisdom: “I think that the type of client that would take issue in that space is also unlikely to be a good fit for the type of community I want to build around my work.”
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— ??Lacey Louix? (@LaceyPlaces) April 23, 2019
“Any advice for LGBTQ+ models just getting started on cam?”
Lastly, we asked these models for any advice they might have for new LGBTQ+ models.
Confidential Model underscored the importance of connecting with clients. “My advice is to always be true to who you are. People want to feel a connection, and I think that is impossible to achieve if you are not being your authentic self.”
Louix wanted to make sure new models knew that they’re not alone. “You have allies here in the community, both clients and fellow [sex workers] alike,” she said. “Feel free to lean on that. You should never feel like you have to tolerate or endure hateful, belligerent or otherwise disrespectful behavior.”
Thank you to the models who shared their experiences with us!
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Ariane Torres is a writer who says funny things on occasion. Email her at ariane@ynotcam.com and find her on Twitter at @tofulumpia.