Self-care means different things to all of us – from time alone to time with friends, from outdoor adventures to relaxing on the couch aaaall day.
No matter what your preferred form of self-care is though, it’s important to factor it into your routine.
Me time: Is self-care that simple?
According to the Self Care Forum, self-care is: “The actions which individuals take for themselves, on behalf of and with others to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or happiness.” In other words, self-care is all the things we do to balance out the stresses we experience in life and keep us on an even keel.
For webcam models and hosts, self-care is vital. Many cammers have multiple jobs, often working a vanilla/mainstream job during one part of the day and camming during their off-mainstream hours. Camming itself, whilst fun, can also be emotionally and physically draining. Self-care is one strategy to avoiding burn out and keeping your love for camming alive.
Self-care isn’t something that should be forced though. If it feels like a chore, then the chosen self-care activity isn’t the right one for you! Self-care should be something you love doing and that feels like a treat. It’s about refuelling our emotional and physical energy tanks. If it’s something you must force yourself to do, then this will have the opposite effect.
This is where self-care is very individualized. For one person, a session at the gym pounding the treadmill is everything they need to rebalance their brain and body, the endorphins healing and soothing the stresses of the week. For someone else, the gym is something they endure — a necessary evil. For them, this isn’t self-care.
Golden Rules
Sometimes, getting to a place where you feel okay about taking the time for self-care is challenging – especially in the non-stop 24/7 world we all work in. A great way to introduce self-care into your life is via following three golden rules.
1. Stick to basics. Start small and work out what activities really allow you to recharge and reset your emotional balance. This might be as simple as walking your dogs in your favorite country park or catching up with your favorite show. Even a “no time limit” bubble bath can work wonders.
Often, these little pleasures are swept aside in lieu of meeting deadlines and running busy lives. Remember the importance of some time to unwind though, and put yourself first for a change.
2. Self-care needs to be planned and scheduled. Wait… schedule time for relaxing, what?!
Few of us will do these things if we rely on spontaneity. Schedule it in ink, and don’t be afraid to let others know you’ve done this. Let people know you value this time and won’t plan over it. This may feel strange at first, but it quickly becomes something you look forward to in your week.
3. Remember, the idea is to look after yourself in this time. That means no answering emails while you’re in the tub, and no face-timing when you’re walking the dog. In short, avoid anything in this period which might counteract the self-care. If socializing is your chosen form of self-care, then choose your friends carefully. Toxic friends will negate the purpose of self-care.
Daily self-care (also, important!)
As well as scheduled activities, there are little things we can do on a day-to-day basis to improve the balance of our lives. These include eating well, going to bed at a reasonable hour, exercising and generally prioritizing your health. You can also practice a little meditation (even breathing exercises at your desk or on the sofa can clear your mind and aid stress levels), spend time with our loved ones, check in with your family and friends and make time to have fun!
Self-care can be practiced alone or with friends — anything from a Sunday on the sofa in your PJs with snacks to recharge from a busy week to lunch and a trip to the cinema with your best friend. These all sound like obvious solutions, but stop and think: How often you plan time purely for yourself?
Another important aspect of self-care, which I touched upon earlier, is pruning those Negative Nancys from your friends list. You know the ones — those who can make us feel bad with just a few well-placed words, the kind of people who fill our social media with catty comments and hate.
We just don’t have time for those people in our lives. If you find spending time with a specific friend is draining you or leaving you feeling bad about yourself, it’s time to question whether they deserve a space in your life. This is sometimes not the most easy thing to do, as we’ve kept these people around for a reason — even if that reason is just a bad habit.
We tend to carry guilt around this decision — the de-friend — but try not to. Your time and attention are valuable, and if someone isn’t earning it with love and respect then they don’t deserve it. Surround yourself with people who will reciprocate your love and support.
Taking small steps to improve the balance in your life will make you feel more in control, which aids mental health and well-being. Take the time out of your day today to do something purely for you. Schedule yourself some self-care time this week, and see how much better you feel for it. Trust me, you’ll want to keep it going!
—
Katy Seymour is a super-sex-positive writer in the U.K. who believes kink is life. Email her at katy@ynotcam.com.
Image via johan van den berg.
