Haters Gonna Hate (and Cyberbully)

By Andra Chirnogeanu 

Being a cam model means you’re a public person, and being a public person means you interact with lots of people, all with different points of view and varied personalities. There will be people who adore you, and there will be people who make fun of you, that are jealous of who you are and what you do, or are just plain assholes. These haters may turn into cyberbullies.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is just like bullying IRL, except via technology. It includes emailing, texting and posting threatening or nasty messages and comments, posting embarrassing pictures or videos, making fake profiles in your name, posting personal information and more.

Dealing with cyberbullying as a cam model is common. There’s nothing you can say or do to prevent it, and it’s one of the main reasons many people quit the job. Coping with cyberbullies can be difficult because it can happen at any time. That means a cyberbully can act when you’re online as well as when you’re off.

How to deal

You need to have a strong character and a clear mind, and you must stay true to who you are to succeed as a cam model, especially when it comes to bullies. This applies to your cam life, as well as in your life offline. Here are some tips and tactics to deal with cyberbullying.

Stay calm. Realize bullies are insecure, and they’re taking their frustrations out on you. You’re not to blame, but keep in mind they won’t stop until they get bored. Try to stay calm, don’t overthink the situation and remind yourself nothing they say is true.

Be nice. Sometimes it’s best to try to be nice. Again, remember the bully has his or her own problems, and maybe they need someone to make them feel good about themselves. This doesn’t make them less of a jerk; it just makes them human. If you’re the type who knows her way around words, talk to them. Try asking if they’re OK or if you can make them feel better. Who knows? Maybe that bully will turn into a paying member.

Don’t reply. Often, the best thing to do when dealing with relentless bullies is not to engage. Most of the time, replying and getting into arguments is exactly what they want. They crave attention. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset or angry.

Take screenshots. If you’re in a situation that affects your identity, take screenshots of the conversations and comments and get help from you cam platform’s online support.

Tell your support team. If you’re in a studio as a cam model, you have a support team. Tell them what’s going on, and they will know exactly what to do. Most of the time, they will ban/kick the member out of your room.

Block the bully. Sometimes, no matter how sweet you are, no matter whether you respond, the bully just will not go away. They will keep attacking you and eventually will ruin your chat area. In this case, there is no other thing to do but to block/ban the bully.

Be private. People change, and nice guys definitely can morph into bullies. To avoid personal information about yourself leaking over the internet, never give your true info or reveal your true identity to anyone when you’re online. You never know when a trusted member can turn into a bully.

Report social media bullying. It’s often easier for people to send you messages and videos, steal photos and bully you on social media sites. Do some research about Twitter and Facebook policies when it comes to cyberbullying and reporting.

Talk to Someone. Even if you’re the most confident person in the world, words hurt. Don’t keep it all to yourself. Talk to someone close to you about what you’re going through. You also can talk with other cam models on forums. You will find the help you need to get your confidence back.

The hustle is real! #ynotcam #camlife (image via @ArielRebel) pic.twitter.com/YIcu9aYV7x

— YNOT Cam (@YNOT_Cam) August 28, 2017

The big picture

Cyberbullies thrive on your reactions and feelings, and their main goal is to get you upset. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

Also, make sure you’re not a bully yourself. Even if you’re not the one who starts bullying, you easily can contribute to it when you participate in hurtful conversations about other models. Business competition is fierce and people often do shady or underhanded things in the name of “making it,” but becoming a part of the cyberbullying problem isn’t the answer.

Always remember: No one can tell you who you are, especially if they don’t know you. Let the haters hate, and keep up the good work.

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Andra Chirnogeanu is the head of public relations and social media marketing at Studio20 Romania. Email her at pr@studio20.ro.

Image © Cynthia Turek.