Stalking Sounds Scary … Because It Is

Making your audience feel included and engaged is part of a cam model’s job. However, when engagement tips into fixation, things can take a sinister turn.

Stalking consists of unwanted, fixated and obsessive behavior patterns that are intrusive and cause fear of violence or serious alarm or distress. Even if threats are not made, victims may feel a threat is implied or perceive intimidation. If you’ve ever felt yourself in this position, then you may have been a victim of stalking.

Stalking can affect anybody; it’s not just a celebrity or “public person” problem. According to data from the Crime Survey of England and Wales, as many as 700,000 women are stalked every year, and this may be just the tip of the iceberg. Stalking and harassment incidents often go unreported.

Online stalking is particularly hard to trace. It may include monitoring, threats, identity theft, and/or gathering and broadcasting identifiable information (also known as “doxing”), all of which may be used to threaten, embarrass or harass. Victims may be subjected to baseless allegations spread online via anonymous social media profiles. Combating these types of displays can be overwhelming. Stalking campaigns can leave victims feeling helpless and with nowhere to run.

Although you may fear making it worse, it is vital to report stalking to the police. In some instances, police involvement alone may be enough to put an end to the behavior. If this isn’t the case, then steps must be taken to prevent escalation. If you’re worried about making the report, you can do so over the phone or ask a friend to accompany you to the station.

In the UK, Paladin — the national advocacy service supporting stalking victims — offers six golden rules for assisting the authorities to deal with a stalker effectively:

1. Report the behavior as quickly as possible to your local authority and let your friends and family know what’s happening.
2. Ensure you have good practical advice. Police often have contact information for organizations like Paladin. In the U.S., NOVA (the National Organization for Victims Assistance) offers a stalking resource checklist and advice. You can also contact Victims of Crime, who have a dedicated stalking resources center.
3. Keep all evidence, despite how emotionally difficult the task may be. Stalking is hard to prove, so every bit of evidence helps. Text messages, call logs and screen shots of online posts are all valuable. Photographs or video of any threatening behaviors are a great help too, but collect that kind of evidence only if it is safe to do so.
4. Keeping a diary of events can be very helpful to authorities when investigating stalking complaints. It enables them to see patterns of behavior and the impact on the victim.
5. Evaluate your risk ahead of time. Paladin offers the S-DASH 11 screening questionnaire, which identifies risks and indicates whether you may be a victim of stalking. Other victims’ advocacy organizations likely have similar tools.
6. Trust your instincts. If you’re frightened, make sure you act on that feeling. Studies have found 44 percent of stalking incidents lead to violence, and in 15 percent could be linked to murder.

Editor’s Note: Sex worker discrimination and victim blaming can intensify a stalking situation. As a cam model, if you find yourself in a stalker situation, it is important to reach out to support services that are specific to sex workers. Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP) is one such organization.

Though it’s troubling that so many people must be on the defensive when it comes to egregious, obviously non-consensual behaviors, it’s also important to be aware of stalking’s prevalence. Having tools to assist authorities when you are contending with a stalking situation is helpful, but being mindful also can help you cut off a problem before it even starts.

Some practical steps you can take to reduce risk if you feel intimidated are:

1. Tighten up your home security. Change your locks and, if you can, install an alarm or security camera on your property.
2. Vary your routine. Avoid taking the same route to work or home. Shake up your gym routine. Don’t always go on the same day or at the same time if you can avoid doing so.
3. Be careful when giving out personal information, especially online.
4. Inform your family and friends of new developments so they are aware of circumstances.
5. Google yourself. This is the easiest way to check your digital footprint. How much information about you is available online, and how easy is it to find using just your name?
6. Change your digital passwords often and use multiple passwords. Set privacy settings on social media sites so that just your friends can see your posts and information.
7. Be very aware of geo-location. Apps such as Snapchat and Facebook can give your location information to followers. Switch this off in your settings.

Stalking can escalate very quickly from mildly irritating to frightening. After years of suffering online stalking, I know myself how easily someone can become fixated on your online presence. I was very lucky to have a great network and fantastic help from police and victim support services, but this does not necessarily minimize the impact.

Stalking can affect your personal life and mental wellbeing as well as your physical safety. If you find yourself in a stalking situation, make sure to take all possible steps to keep yourself safe.

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Katy Seymour is a super-sex-positive writer in the U.K. who believes kink is life. Email her at katy@ynotcam.com.

Image © Karen Barefoot.