Why Don’t You Just Get A Real Job?

Being a sex worker, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase: “Oh, just find a real job!” from people in your circle.

They might be your family members, friends, people on dating apps, or literally anyone else. Being a sex worker somehow seems to mean that the way you earn your money is suddenly everyone else’s business. Everyone, including your grandma, your high school teacher and your local barista seems to have an opinion.

It is no secret that sex work is often not recognized as a real job.

Why? Well, there are many reasons. First of all, people from the outside struggle to see the labor part in our jobs. They think that as soon as the clothes come off, it’s raining money. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Second, they think we don’t pay taxes. I guess, because “it’s not a real job.” Please tell that to our governments, it would be nice to be freed from taxes. And third, our job seems to be nothing but pleasure. So, how could something so enjoyable be a job? Can you get paid just for having orgasms? While I wish that was the truth, it is time to brush aside all these assumptions and have the real talk.

Sex work is no easy game. It is hard work that might not guarantee a consistent stream of income.

This means that sometimes you have to save up and be smart with your money, get a part-time vanilla job, or maybe leave the industry altogether. Which option is the right for you? That’s something only you know. However, it is important to point out that finding a vanilla job might not be so easy after all. Let’s look at some reasons why.

1. The exposure on the internet. Some companies think that hiring an ex-sex worker will tarnish their reputation. Or they might see us as uneducated or not smart enough. While this type of discrimination is more prevalent in some positions versus others, it still stands. Unless you have a very understanding and open-minded boss, or a clueless one. However, the second option might feel like sitting on a ticking time bomb and simply waiting for it to explode.
2. The gap in the resume. The longer you do sex work, and only sex work, the bigger it gets. I know the fear. My current gap is over three years long, and if I don’t tell the truth, I’m not sure what else to put there. Sure, I’ve been working as a freelance writer, but it’s so linked to my adult content creator endeavors… Which makes me either give people very generic answers or skip this part of my job experience altogether.
3. Disabilities. It is no secret that most jobs are unlikely to adjust to people with disabilities, whether they are physical or mental. The adult industry is full of creators who suffer from conditions like PTSD, endometriosis, seizures, chronic fatigue, depression, anxiety, and way more. And the main reason why we choose this job over many others is that we can take time off when needed without explaining it to anyone and do things at our own pace.
4. Family commitments. Not everyone has someone who can help with looking over their kids or elderly relatives. And sometimes it’s the preference of sex workers themselves to spend more time with their family, which other jobs wouldn’t allow them to.
5. Limited time or hectic schedule due to studies. This is another thing I have a personal experience with. When you’re getting a degree, sometimes it’s even impossible to take shifts at a local café because your time is that scattered, not even talking about other jobs. 

Now you know why getting a “real job” isn’t always realistic for everyone. When people see us online, posting our nudes and promoting our porn profiles, we are often perceived as lazy, uneducated or greedy. We’re told that we love to manipulate men who don’t know any better and draw them deeper into porn addiction. And we also hear that we corrupt the younger generations, which has never been our goal at all.

If you’d like to learn more about whose responsibility it is to protect minors from accessing porn, you can read my article about that HERE.

Back to “real jobs.”

Something that isn’t often talked about is the impostor syndrome and the sense of inadequacy in porn.

Especially if you’re new in the industry, the words of other people can really get into your head. You might feel ashamed about your work because others have told you it’s bad. You might feel inadequate because all of your peers are working well-paid, stable jobs, but you’re doing sex work and barely getting by. And those are completely normal things to feel. We don’t always feel on top of the world and unbreakable. Sometimes the negative opinions of others get to us, and that’s normal. Especially, when they come from those closest to you, it really hurts.

What to do about it?

Feel the feelings and let them go. Nurture yourself. Surround yourself with a group of supportive sex work friends who know how you feel. You are doing your best, and your job is valid. Period.

Main Image by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels.

—

Alison Sparks is a camgirl, solo adult content creator and writer. Find her on Twitter at @itsalisonsparks and email her via alison@ynotcam.com.