Dear Lola—
I’ve never cammed before, but I’m thinking about trying it. I’ve worked as a social justice and anti-oppression activist for years. I’m wondering about “camming for change.” I’d like to make content that not only celebrates my sexuality (I’m trans masculine and gay), but also inspires others to think differently. Do you think that’s possible? Do you have any advice? –Curious in Colorado Springs
Dear Curious –
Thanks so much for the great questions!
So, I have a simple response and a more complex one. Let’s start with the easy answer: I do believe putting on a show that both reflects your sexuality and opens people’s minds is possible. There are no gatekeepers in this line of work. As long as you’re of legal age, you’re a content creator if you say you are, and you can cam for any reason you like!
As for your desire to create adult content with a conscience, you wouldn’t be alone. There are quite a few other adult producers with world-changing mission statements—check out this terrific article breaking down some of the considerations of ethical porn and those who make it here.
However, my longer answer boils down to this: they don’t call it the sex industry for nothin’—it’s a business. When it comes to the desire to both make content and influence people’s thinking, a useful parallel might be performing music: using a popular medium to both entertain and enlighten. Most people, I think it’s safe to say, watch cam shows to be turned on, but that doesn’t mean they can’t appreciate content that tickles the brain as well.
At the same time, when you’re talking about filming, promoting, and monetizing some of the most tender and intimate parts of yourself—your body, your gender, your desires—the stakes can get high in a hurry. What I would ask you is this: do you want to be an artist, an activist, or make a living? I’m not saying you can’t achieve all three, but there is tension between those aims.
Let me break this down how I see it.
Goal: Self-Expression
If your key goals are self-exploration, creativity, and honesty, showing the world your unique insights into gender and desire, then focus like a laser on that. By this I mean, dance like no one’s watching. Think of yourself as that subway busker who sings their heart out whether there’s a crowd listening raptly, a few folks strolling by, or even when no one’s around. Concentrate on your voice, your passion, your truth, and don’t get caught up in other people’s reactions.
Goal: Impact
You say you want to “inspire others to think differently.” That means directly engaging with people who don’t think like you do, and that is not a trivial undertaking. It takes a steel spine to deal with the whorephobia, transphobia, misogyny, body-shaming, money-shaming, and all the other bullshit you’ll most likely encounter on cam, regardless of any higher purpose you might have for being there. And just to be clear—most people aren’t going to pay to engage with you politically, so you most likely will end up expending a lot of energy arguing for free.
If you want to help people to think differently, then I encourage you to think long and hard about who your audience is, and how you want to engage them. One thing you might consider is consciously cultivating folks who are naturally drawn to your content, rather than trying to change the minds of those who aren’t.
Goal: Money
Circling back to my earlier point, because camming is a for-profit proposition, one of the most obvious ways to measure success is monetarily. Equating money with success can stand in direct conflict to artistry and impact.
I encourage you now, before you get started, to commit to writing out a concrete business plan on what you want YOUR success to look like. If there’s a dollar amount in your head that feels like winning, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But if money is secondary to you, then my recommendation is to avoid getting caught up in how much you earn, don’t compare yourself to other creators, and have a vanilla job that supports your vision.
I’m all for the idea that adult content can change hearts and minds. But to keep yourself safe and sane, know exactly what you want to put into this proposition and exactly what you look to get out of it.
Until next time, be sweet to yourself.
—LolaD.
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Lola Davina is a longtime veteran of the sex industry and author of “Thriving in Sex Work: Sex Work and Money,” her follow-up to the formative “Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry,” available wherever books are sold. You can find audio versions located at Audible, iTunes and Awesound.
Contact Lola at Lola.Davina@ynotcam.com and visit her on Twitter at @Lola_Davina.
