We have all heard about ghosting, right?
With conventional ghosting, one person decides to act as if the other person is invisible. They don’t call you back, they don’t respond to your texts and they probably unmatched with you on Tinder.
It’s a horrible feeling to be ghosted, but we all will probably go through it at some point — and we have all probably ghosted someone in one way or another. It’s a shitty way to tell a potential romantic partner that you are not interested, but guess what: In today’s world, there is generally always a way to get just a little bit shittier.
With social media and the internet being a huge part of communication, ghosting can be taken to a whole new level. I’m talking about “cloaking.”
Cloaking: Ghosting, but Maliciously
Cloaking can be seen as a more malicious way to ghost. It’s so bad that even George “Oh Myyy” Takei’s site Guacamoley.com discussed it as an “awful new dating trend.”
Getting cloaked happens when a person completely blocks you from all media outlets. Guacamoley explained that a Mashable writer coined the term to describe being stood up and subsequently blocked on all forms of communication by an online paramour. In there words, “cloaking is when a person doesn’t just stand you up for a date, they also block you on any app that you’ve previously communicated on.”
In terms of the dating world, cloaking is far more time consuming and intentional — “just” ignoring versus actually going in and blocking — than ghosting and can be outright childish.
Cloaking and Cam: Clients Cloak You
Since a majority of interactions between cam models and clients are through the internet, cloaking can be a thing.
As most models know, regulars are the bread and butter of your client list. The more shows you do with someone, the more you know about their personality, what they are into sexually and how to perform the best show for them. But every now and then, they fall off the face of the Earth. It is easy to take this personally, because you are left wondering what you did wrong, if they are okay and — let’s be real — whether or not they’re sending their funds to another model.
Here’s a story: A friend told me about a client who called her almost every day and sent large payments just to have a conversation. One day, they were going to do a call, but the client had technical difficulties, got upset and hung up. My friend never heard from him again afterwards. She couldn’t find him on her friend list, and he had blocked her from Skype.
The client had cloaked her.
It’s devastating to lose a client, especially one who has invested time and money on you and that you have invested in as well. You feel like you lost a friend, and it definitely does not help financially. But regulars cum and go (HA! Get it?!), and it is best not to sulk or blame yourself. After all, the person behind the camera could be dealing with their own issues. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Cloaking and Cam: You Cloak Clients
Cam models can also practice the art of cloaking. With the nature of client/model relationships though, this practice could be evidence of an outright scam.
I’ve heard stories from clients who are afraid to use cash apps outside of a host website because they have been wronged by a Scam Model. (This is a term I coined, btw. Trademark me!) For instance, it is common for clients to send a tribute or payment to a model before a show — and there have been models who took the money and ran.
Let me tell you, this is extremely shady.
If a client has sent you money and you agreed to do a show, that is a transaction. I’m sure you’ve heard these mantras a million times: Cam modeling is a business. Sex work is real work. Yes! But we also must treat it as such, as engaging in scammy behavior has negative impacts that are multi-faceted and far-reaching.
Of course, there are at least 138 reasons why you can legitimately change your mind about a show. You’re feeling sick, you don’t want to do it or maybe you just ran out of time. That’s perfectly fine. Things happen, but being upfront and honest about issues is the key difference here.
Models who agree to do a show, get their money and then block the client from everything once the payment goes through — that’s different. That’s shady business. It gives real models seeking to earn honest money a bad name, and it makes clients less trusting of sex workers.
Like all things in life, cloaking is complex. It can be a shitty thing to happen when dating and a shitty thing to happen when a client cloaks you. It can be a good way to stop harassment, and it can also be a way to scam clients.
Don’t be a Scam Model, be forthcoming in a professional way and use your best judgement.
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Ariane Torres is a writer who says funny things on occasion. Email her at ariane@ynotcam.com and find her on Twitter at @tofulumpia.
Banner image includes work by Emre Kuzu and OVAN via Pexels.
