In addition to being… deadly, each of the seven deadly sins — pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth — are also some of the most palpable experiences a person can go through. Ironically, given how intense these experiences can be, they’re also fairly commonplace pieces of daily life.
Envy, for instance, is rampant in many of us, and experiencing it isn’t uncommon at all. But just because something is a common feeling does not mean that it is something that should be cultivated. In a work environment, envy can easily destroy the one who covets, as well as those who are envied. It can break down morale and interrupt the flow of business at every level, in every industry and occupation.
Envy is especially unpleasant because it is hard to avoid, especially these days. For cam models, between social media and being online at virtually every waking moment, seeing a work peer doing something that sparks envy is inevitable.
Is that person doing things you do not do or receiving accolades that you do not receive? Even worse, is that person doing things you do do and receiving accolades that you don’t? In instances like this, how do you stay focused on yourself and not get caught up in envy’s green web?
We spoke to Bre Adams, Lilith Bealove and Corii Siren, who all shared their tips on how to overcome envy and keep yourself uplifted and motivated.
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
“I stay focused by not worrying about what other people are doing. I’m not here to measure up to other people, I’m here for myself,” Bre Adams explained.
Focusing on yourself and what you are doing in terms of your career is a great way to stay on track. Being focused on yourself and remembering that you are there because you want to be is a great motivator.
Bre Adams
“I have felt envious,” confided former cam model Lilith Bealove. “I avoided it by focusing on my job, my work and my body. If I saw someone with a butt that I envied, I would do more squats.”
Corii Siren explained, “If I’m watching a girl on cam or I’m scrolling through what sold on ManyVids, I’m gonna throw on some music that gets me hype and I’m gonna film some videos or I’m gonna get on cam… I’m gonna strut my shit and get my coin because I know it’s out there and I know I deserve it — I just have to go after it.”
There is No Such Thing as Luck
“Hard work is such an important thing,” Siren underscored.
“People think that everything is based around luck, and it’s just not. One of the things that goes along with hard work is learning how to work smarter while you’re working hard. That will really help you,” she added.
Corii Siren
It can be tempting to look at someone else and think that everything was handed to them on a silver platter. It can be hard to give them their due and admit that they deserve their success the same way that you want yours. It can be hard to admit that they work hard and that they have had the same struggles that you have.
Which leads us to…
Your “Competition” is Human, Just Like You
When you see another model online, chances are they are putting their best “work face” forward. It’s important to remember that the work presentation we see online is largely just that: a presentation. Once of the best ways to see another dimension to that presentation is to get involved with the community and get to know others around you.
“I found that getting into the community and getting to know the other models helped a lot,” Bealove shared. “I knew a model who was gorgeous, who I envied a lot. I reached out to her and got to know her. She’s actually a great friend of mine now. Neither one of us cam anymore, but I’m going to visit her sometime this year.”
Social media can both help and hinder that process. With the overwhelming presence (and necessity) of social media, it’s sometimes easy to forget that social media is also a tool.
Just like you are putting a “work face” forward online, so is everyone else you come across. And when so much of our human interaction is filtered via a “work face” lens, like it is in the cam space, we never get to see a peer have an “ordinary” moment. It’s an easy jump then to make — forgetting that that other cam model who seems so perfect is putting a specific face forward… just like you.
#NewProfilePic pic.twitter.com/xzeFvcFuVH
— Lilith Is a Pagan (@BealoveLilith) January 22, 2019
Without that “real life” filter, a workplace as visual and as unique as camming quickly becomes even more competitive.
Seeing many other people doing the — apparently — same thing as you can make it hard to realize they are just people like you trying to make it in the world. Remember, they are also people you can reach out to and create a community with. You don’t have to be alone, you can support each other.
Envy — like all other feelings — is inevitable. How you handle it, however, is up to you. You can let envy eat you up and derail your dreams, work and hustle. Or, you can rise to the challenge and let envy bring out the best in you.
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F. Leonora Solomon is a writer and editor who lives in New York City. Find her online at fdotleonora.com and on Twitter at @fdotleonora. Email her at leonora@ynotcam.com.
Image by Artem Bali via Pexels.
