We recently received the following question from a model who was still not quite ready to take the plunge on cam:
So I have been doing a lot of my own research about camming, and I have talked to a few cam girls. One thing that they have all said to me was that there is no way to keep it a secret (even if you block states) and that trying to find a “normal” job if you decide to stop camming is pretty much impossible because of the whole stigma still on the sex industry.
I fear that if I’m not successful with it that I’ll really have a hard time trying to find a “normal” job… I have a job that I still want to keep for now and I would like for my boss and my family to not find out, but I know that is not possible.
Though my fear of not being successful with [cam] is holding me back, I’m still interested in the sex work — what do I do?
“Cam fear” — fear associated with camming that stems from anxiety about success to the fear of “getting caught” and everything in between — is a real thing. Rather than allow it to psych you out or pretending that it’s NBD and forcing yourself to push through regardless, it’s important to discuss feelings like fear in a balanced and informed way.
We decided to reach out to some experienced and successful models to see what they had to say about “cam fear.” Jayda Jacobs and Amberly Rothfield both had some sage insights to offer this would-be model.
Here is what Jacobs had to say:
In my opinion, the model shouldn’t go into cam without having done some research and planning first. If her main two concerns are “getting caught” and being successful, she should come up with specific goals and timeframes that she’s planning on being in the business, as well as a strategic exit plan and strategy. The more deliberate her actions are regarding this, the more relief she will feel.
On a side note, I have run into people from my personal life, and I always deny that it’s me of I don’t feel comfortable with them knowing. I’ve done it, and it works more than you think!
I will caution her though — If she’s expecting to make quick money, camming is not it. Being successful at cam is literally about branding yourself, networking and building your business from scratch. The more knowledge and preparation she is willing to put into it, the more she can expect to get out of it.
I hope this helps!
Jayda
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— ?? Jayda Jacobs?? (@jaydajusa) August 17, 2018
Rothfield also weighed in:
I am the queen of self-sabotage. I, while fearless in trying everything, once I see that something is working, I will find a way to PROVE that it can not last.
That said, your friends are half right. Keeping sex work a secret when using your own face is nearly impossible, but I have friends who are now in law school and told the judges in Texas that they now work for about their past [work in cam]. No one cared. Does it rule out some jobs that have a “morality clause”? Yes, but many successful women started as strippers to get through college. Your plan B will be fine!
As for Plan A, being a camgirl isn’t easy but you can make it your full-time forever job. I know many models who work it as a full-time job. Yes, it means spending eight hours a day working at your job (not all on cam, some doing promotional work). Yes, it means doing some stuff you hate, but no it doesn’t mean you cannot do this for as long as you desire.
I love my cam girlfriends, and they will tell you they are doing nothing special that you cannot do. Do not fear the success that you are capable of creating!
I want to personally thank @MixtrixFix for lending her guide on doing online #findom sessions to my #adultwork resource site! https://t.co/Q8WPrraZmy make sure you guys check it out! pic.twitter.com/zNxOyM7jcN
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) August 21, 2018
Find ways to think about fear — source it, balance it, take insights into consideration and make the best decision that works for you.
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Erika is a sex positive people watcher (and writer). Email her at erika@ynotcam.com.
