You’re most likely acquainted with Amberly Rothfield, a talented woman who wrote the book on how to make money as a phone sex operator and more — How I Made $10,000 a Month as a Phone Sex Operator (2018).
YNOT Cam recently had the pleasure of reading Rothfield’s book and got the opportunity to ask the business expert about some of her book’s finer points.
Review: How I Made $10,000 a Month as a Phone Sex Operator
Before we get to our interview with Rothfield, we’d like to do a short book review.
Rothfield writes from the heart. Her voice is kind and honest and, often times, quite funny. Her ability to discuss the highs and lows of her career make her material easy to read and digest. Although Rothfield spends a considerable portion of her book explaining the various phone sex tracks — working with a company versus working on your own — she also details the business-side of phone sex operation.
In addition to providing on-point information concerning online promotion, blogging and marketing (there’s also a great section on how she’s effectively dealt with online trolls, etc.), she also stresses the importance of setting up an LLC and paying one’s taxes on time. But don’t let the serious nature of “business talk” make you shy away from reading. Rothfield adds plenty of interesting — and chuckle-causing — stories about how she effortlessly performed her clients’ kinks in a PG way.
Yes, this book is still free. 🙂 Just dm me your email address and I will send as soon as I can! Please note only the EBook version is free #free #prrequest #journorequest https://t.co/UuEWYaym0p pic.twitter.com/owsez3URAr
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) May 24, 2018
Rothfield on her new book, and more
Now, on to the interview.
When we recently communicated with Rothfield via email, we asked her about her start in the business, her desire to help others succeed and what she wants to do next.
YNOT Cam: Can you describe how you felt when you first entered the industry? I read you were in a tough financial spot and not the best living situation…
Amberly Rothfield: When I first entered [the industry], I was absolutely without money or options — 18 years old, no family to go to and not having a car/knowing how to drive meant that my work options were extremely limited. I was on the brink of homelessness and already really hungry.
While searching for a job, I found a “phone actress” listing, and when I found out it was for phone sex, I didn’t care. They paid weekly, and I did not need transportation. I would have given my soul just for some stability and to ease the fear of being homeless.
What do you wish you would have known when you first started out? Basically, what’s the main thing new operators should keep in mind?
If I could go back in time, I wish I would have known about saving money. The money came very easily, especially in the early years as it was an extreme taboo. Had I saved more, I could have really set myself up nicely. The money is still amazing now, but I should have saved more rather than just buying stuff I didn’t need or going on lavish vacations. Taxes will be due, and there will be rainy days in the future.
Here’s a real-life example: my father died, my house burned down and we had to do a huge move from Georgia to Texas ALL in the same six months. My father had no life insurance, so that meant I paid for all his final expenses. We had renters insurance, but there still were some incidentals that did not get covered and the military does not cover some things when it comes to moving. In four months, we burned through $35,000. So, put the money back when money is good.
19 of the 20. Books are here. Ready to sign for Chicago @EXXXOTICA for the @productions_ea and @EABBWcollection pic.twitter.com/0D83afO62h
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) May 22, 2018
Your tone is conversational, and the reader can tell you truly love helping people build their company. Tell us why that’s (helping people succeed in this industry) so important for you.
The reason I want to see people succeed in this industry is simple: There is sooo much money on the table in this industry. There are literally more customers than we could ever supply with providers. Also, the more people who provide in the phone sex industry, the more of a voice we have. Legislation can only go through if everyone is silent about it. But the more of us who are making enough money to be willing to stand up to this, the faster it will all stop.
Phone sex hurts no one. The very people pushing to kill the business are also some of our clients. There is hypocrisy abound. They have gotten away with it because many people in our industry do not make enough to have it as their only job. I would never ask someone to risk their bread and butter for a side hustle.
I also truly want to see women become their own bosses. It has been so empowering for me. I have gone back to “vanilla” jobs before, but couldn’t stand them. I love making my own work hours, deciding my own agenda and knowing that what I’m building is mine. I want more people to have that experience.
Do you have any client calls that changed the way you do business? Like anything you discovered was a stressor for you, or something that you found out you were unexpectedly amazing at?
I have had soo many clients over the years, but I would say one caller — code-named Kevin — changed my business entirely. When I first started as an independent phone sex operator, I felt I had to make everyone happy or my business would die. He would insist on calling me when I had to do stuff in real life. He never respected my hours. He would haggle about pricing and just all around created a not-so-enjoyable experience. I had to drag myself through the sex part of the calls.
One day, when talking to a friend, she said, “Why do you put up with it?” I told her that he was $400 a month to me. She then said, “Yes, but is he $3,000 worth of stress?” I didn’t even have think about it. YES, YES HE WAS!
A[nother] customer who changed my business in a great way was Allen. He would ask for mp3s and then lost his job. He could no longer order my expensive custom mp3s, but offered to allow me to resell the customs. At this point, I had never thought about doing so. Custom to me sounded like “exclusive,” but I learned that is not always true. I then started offering nonexclusive custom mp3s for reselling. My business shot through the roof!
You need a #CustomVideo from me! https://t.co/dqa3yOifDS pic.twitter.com/n2fAZ7gadf
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) May 23, 2018
I also really appreciate that you point out how much work it is to do this work. How long did it take you to plan out your business—the blogs, the content sites, learning how to deal with the haters, everything! I assume scheduling and meditation are incredibly important.
When it came to making my schedule that I honor—somewhat similar to those who honor a religion—it did take about two years to get it down pat. I would say it is ever evolving, too. As new things become the priority, I, of course, have to make adjustments, but my planning out each week takes about an hour a week, and no matter what, it has to happen on Sunday evenings. If I have an event, I may do it that afternoon or morning, but it will get done in the evenings—even if I have to delegate it to my assistant.
Meditation and reflecting on how everything I am doing is going toward a goal is constant, as well. I like to take daily baths and do 30 minutes of yoga. During this time, I try to be as mindful as possible about how things are going. Everything I do should be going toward a similar goal at all times!
Are there any people that you can mention that helped you make your way in the industry? Also, did anyone help you with your book?
The people who helped me in the industry would be Shayna Domina, Serena Cavaretti and Doctor Sue.
Shayna actually helped me with my book by writing the forward for me. I have known her for over ten years, and she is more like family. Anytime I have ever had an issue, I have gone to her and know I can continue to do so. We rip on each other like siblings, but she is the best friend a girl could ever have.
Serena Cavaretti was like a mother to me, being as I did not have one. May she rest in peace, she passed away going on two years now, and my life hasn’t been the same since. She was the most amazing graphic designer I will ever know, but her heart is what taught me the most. She would help anyone and honestly undercharge for her work. The last thing she said to me was to get this book out. I did it, mama! I DID IT!
Doctor Sue is also a vat of the most useful information you can find on the internet regarding sex work. She has a great podcast and site that gives all the low down on fetishes, laws and how to set up your business. I tune in to her show every week—it is a must!
This @bad_dragon is shocking!!
BUT not as shocking as some of the secrets I will be revealing at my @EXXXOTICA seminar coving How I Made 10k A Month in the #phonesex industry! See me in Chicago! June 9th!
Want a free book? Dm me!
Retweet so others can get one too! pic.twitter.com/9qFwduFWEl
— Amberly Rothfield (@AmberlyPSO) May 15, 2018
Do you have any plans for another book? I know you mentioned something in the “Phone Tricks” chapter… Also, what are you working on now?
I do plan to create a “Phone Sex Bible“ of sorts. I did not want to intimidate those coming into the business for this book. It was already getting to 250 pages double-spaced, and it is a standard-letter size book! Normal books are about 6×9 inches, without double spacing. So, at that size, the current book is over 400 pages. I want people starting out to see it is work, but it isn’t insanely hard. I do not want them to walk away from a great opportunity!
My second book is on the way and is even more comprehensive. It’s like a reference guide. I am interviewing websites and companies, giving the down and dirty on how to get started and providing the best guides to different fetishes with the psychological reasoning behind them. I will also discuss more laws and consider how SESTA and FOSTA will have an impact on us. That, of course, came after my book was published.
My other big projects are getting my current book in audio format and into adult stores. (Know any? Just DM me on Twitter. If I get a deal with them, I will send you some free author signed copies.)
I’m also working on my book tour with Exxxotica and building out my AmberlyRothfield.com site as a resource for those in the industry.
Find Amberly Rothfield on her official site — MoneyOverMen.com — and on Twitter at @AmberlyPSO.
—
Abbie Stutzer is a writer and editor from Lawrence, Kansas. Find her on Twitter at @abbiestutzer and on Insta at @abbiestutzer. Email her at abbie@ynotcam.com.
