This type of thinking has happened to me before. Maybe it’s happened to you?
I start to question if the work I do as a cam model is actually “real” work. I feel guilty — maybe even a little shame — that, because all my working efforts are behind a computer screen, maybe my work isn’t valid? Maybe I am just a slacker? I wonder if something about me is inadequate, and I start to wonder if I am incapable of doing “real” work.
This inevitably starts me to thinking that I am not successful — and even thinking that I am not worthy of success.
Rather than focusing on “worthiness” though, what I really should be asking myself is “What does success look like?” There is no wrong answer to this question, but one’s answer is definitely based on an individual’s perspective. So rather than worry about what everyone else is saying, you have to ask yourself: How do you define success?
The Big Game Can be Overwhelming
According to society, I am not climbing the “conventional” success ladder that many of my friends and family are. My path is different, and I am in a neverending obstacle course of being an entrepreneur in control of my own financial destiny. Every day it’s “choose your own adventure” in my world.
Sometimes I find myself in a thought-competition with the woman I would be if I did not make money online. That’s me trying to picture what my reality would be if I had chosen a different adventure.
Here’s something I was thinking about just last month:
When you make your first dollar online from your own efforts it’s is extremely hard to go back to any job that pays you a hourly/salary wage or worst minimum wage
— Minnie C. Riley 🦄💰 aka Minnie St. Claire🥳💰 (@MinnieCRiley) February 12, 2018
In that tweet, I am trying to reassure myself that the current reality I’ve picked is a good one — and also that I don’t always have to justify my choices.
This is not an easy journey we’ve chosen to take on, but the person who must have an adventure learns and grows faster than people who stay on a conventional path — and you’re not alone! The good news is that others have taken the path of creating their own way too.
Focusing on Small Wins
What makes the journey easier and definitely more enjoyable is to focus on the small milestones you earn. You need to look at what you have created and achieved, what has gone right and notice what didn’t go as planned. Take stock of every experience and experiment.
Here are some examples of people I follow who have taken a step back and are able to celebrate their wins, plus share their journey towards financial freedom in a public way. Seeing them share their journey keeps me inspired and also shows me how to break down the loneliness.
John Chow — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YnQUMc1fVE
Nathan Lucas — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p4XN-AmvIk
Emeka Ossai — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqXkpLCZyDM
Stefan James — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT-EQtteqiE
You need feedback that shows you are on the right track. This is a huge part of being productive. Here are some questions to ask yourself. These will help give you a baseline to determine if you are making progress that could lead to celebrating your next milestone:
What did you do well this week?
What did you achieve?
Did you learn a new skill?
Did you help someone else?
Did something unexpected happen to you?
Having a way to keep track of your journey is a way to keep your confidence up. It also shows you are working towards your goal, as well as owning — and even celebrating — your own freedom. It means you are always one small win away from victory.
Sharing your wins can be a way for you to have others cheer you on. If they react negatively to your wins, just remember it’s about them and their issues and has nothing to do with what you have achieved for yourself or what you are working towards.
Small Steps, Big Picture
The joy is in the journey. You have to look at what you have achieved and what you plan to accomplish. Celebrating your wins is key to building up your self-esteem and confidence. Building this up not only helps put your mind in a positive state, it actually gives you a memory bank and motivation to keep going.
I highly recommend getting one of those grade school reward charts and have shiny star stickers on hand to mark each milestone you’ve achieved. Write the date when you’ve achieved them and — of course — celebrate those shiny stars.
You stepping out and working towards your dreams and actively doing something to change
your reality and circumstances is what makes people uncomfortable. Be proud that you are doing something that is extraordinary. People are where they are in their lives because they’ve chosen not to change.
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Minnie St. Claire has been a model and performer since 2003. Check out her Clips4Sale store at onlyminnie.comand her personal site minniestclaire.com.
Image via Camila Schnaibel
