Body positivity is a philosophy that encourages people to adopt more affirming attitudes about their bodies in an effort to improve overall health and wellbeing while building self-esteem. No matter your age, size, race, color, gender or weight, everyone can be more body-positive.
Sounds like common sense, right? That’s not always the case.
We all advocate body positivity, but it’s hard to stay super-body-positive every day, especially when your job involves being naked on camera. We all have days when we feel down about our appearance, and everyone has self-doubt no matter how they look. In an industry as image-orientated as camming, how do we keep those demons at bay? This is where having active tools and tactics to enhance body positivity comes in.
Body-positivity how-to’s on cam
The first thing to remember is if someone is watching your show, they like what they see. This is important both in relation to partners and camming. It’s easy to become so caught up in hiding our stretch marks or worrying our boobs aren’t big enough. People are watching because they think you’re hot. Your clients literally are paying to look at you. This is some seriously powerful affirmation. You work it, girl!
A great tip for achieving body-positivity is bin the scales and stop focusing on your dress size. Both are just numbers. Cut the tags out of your clothes if seeing the numbers bothers you. Whether you’re a size 4 or a size 24, you’re just as awesome. Labeling is for soup cans.
Increase your confidence on-cam by giving yourself a comfortable environment. Make lighting flattering and your cam room a safe space for you. Wear lingerie if you’re not comfortable naked. It’s all about your comfort level. The happier you are, the more positive you’ll feel.
Body-positivity how-to’s offline
Building body positivity beyond your cam room and work environment is important too.
Focus on practicing self-love. Stand in front of your mirror naked and avoid the obvious thought traps: Instead of thinking “I wish I had a bigger butt” or “I wish my belly didn’t wobble,” focus on something you like about your body. Try to see these perceived flaws as part of the bigger picture. Truthfully, most of the things we dislike about ourselves are rarely noticed by others, least of all clients who have actively opted to watch you. We are our own worst enemies in the fight for body positivity.
Your body is your friend, so spend some time getting to know it. Spend time naked. Masturbate in front of the mirror so you can see what your audience sees. Stop hiding and be comfortable with yourself. This is vital to your confidence in front of the camera. A model who projects her own issues into her performance is going to find her traffic wane. Webcam is fantasy for clients; they don’t want to deal with the reality of your self-confidence.
The things you consider blemishes, scars, stretch marks, aging, etc., are symbols of your survival. They tell the story of who you are. None of us is a blank canvas. Own these things. Refuse to be apologetic about them. They are you!
Interpersonal IRL body positivity
A toxic and/or unsupportive environment does not help when it comes to body positivity.
This might be hard, but check your circle of family and friends. Many body-positivity issues may come from the people with whom we surround ourselves. Comparing yourself to friends and peers is normal, but be gentle with it. When you’ve grasped just how great you are, you’ll find less weight in the comparisons. If you find your associations leave you feeling crappy, then prune that branch.
Toxic friends who partake in passive aggressive body shaming need to be removed from the Christmas card list. We all have that one person in our lives who is the first to point out the extra few pounds after holidays or when we are having a bad-skin day. Tell them that behavior is not acceptable and how it makes you feel. If you can’t find it in you to do this, then detach yourself from the person. And learn to watch these traits in yourself. Don’t fall into the trap of putting others down to lift yourself.
It’s not just you, or me, or her…
It’s easy to think slimmer girls don’t suffer with body-positivity issues, but they do. Curve envy is real, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting what someone else has. The same is true for age. When the industry is flooded with younger women, your insecurities can bite. The beauty of webcamming, though, is that it caters to a wealth of preferences. The diversity of models creates a much more body-positive environment than the media in general.
The modern media wants props for its relatively recent and occasional recognition of body diversity, and we’ve all heard argument that mainstream porn is damaging to women’s self-confidence. Regardless of either claim’s actual veracity, this is where webcam can be uniquely empowering.
Cam models represent a more diverse and (relatively) representative look at women –- more like the diversity you see on the street coming from all walks of life. So, embrace the fact that simply by doing your work you are contributing to a more complex look at humanity, which is pretty body positive in itself!
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Katy Seymour is a super-sex-positive writer in the U.K. who believes kink is life. Email her at katy@ynotcam.com.
@lexiemanion‘s Insta is a super-awesome body-positive space!
Lead image © MitaStockImages.
